Okay, so I want to start documenting my life. As boring or interesting as it may get.. At least i try to keep it entertaining ;) and I'll write in a hopefully enjoyable way (:

So okay back to the other day, I finally saw Diego after a while. I really did miss the schmuck.. And I guess if he's making the effort to see me, he must've missed me too.. Or maybe he was just bored.. I dunno, either way I was happy and I had fun. And I guess that's what's truly important. But anyway, I went to meet him at the 7-eleven next to my house on Silverado Trail. I told him I;d wait inside cause of loitering laws and shit. Also cause I just didn't want to stand around like a derp outside. I bought gum and cigars while waiting for him. Also a black lighter cause I lost all of mine; that and my mom got ahold of them and took them away. And then while I was looking at the sunglasses, I saw him walk by outside and I decided to try and hide. But he had already seen me. Oh well, I still hid. And he just walked over to me smiling, until I came out from my obvious hiding spot and went over to hug him. I was really relieved he was here cause it smelled like a damn port-a-potty in there and I just wanted to leave. But first I bought him a bag of hot cheetos and a red bull, which thankfully I had enough for. Gat damn though, I just needed to get out of that damn store (and really just off of planet earth cause there's stinky dirty people everywhere). I'm sorry, I don't mean to come off as a misanthropist; I don't hate anyone, I have a good heart. I just dislike people for the way they are, ultimately. Does that make sense? Oh well. Getting sidetracked here, but I tend to do that.. After we left, we started walking towards the river trail and I asked what he wanted to do. I tend to talk kind of quietly around him, but then I get excited and my voice gets a little louder. We both decided to just walk on the river trail and we saw this cat trying to go after a squirrel. It was cute, but we couldn't tell if it was trying to play around with it or attack and kill it. Diego asked "Should we break it up or let nature take its course?" I liked that, it showed his kind heart and also his acceptance and acknowledgement of nature. We had a good conversation on the way there; I made him smile and laugh a few times. And I hope I make him feel comfortable around me; I just want him to feel happy and secure. I want him to feel cared for and like he can rely on me. But I just don't like feeling unappreciated. I wish people didn't make me feel that way. People really don't know how to value. Well we talked about school and how corrupt the education system is and how its mainly a business that leaves students in ridiculous debt and it doesn't even guarantee them a job. And how Diego said that he doesn't want to waste his time with that and how he doesn't want to go to school to get a career he doesn't even want. I love how well we relate and how he actually acknowledges the things I do. I told him what I tend to tell people a lot, but I also hesitated and told him if he was really prepared to hear what I had to say because of how passionately against it I am. I told him about how there's ways around that and how I want to find the loopholes. How you don't have to do shit the traditional way, and you can stray from the norm. Be the odd one out; the one that makes a difference for the better. And I'm an ambitious rebel. We got to the Nob Hill (Snob Hill) plaza and walked around; I told Diego "ladies first" and let him walk in front of me into the store. Diego pointed out a guy and I commented on his jewfro and then I tried to stray him away from the alcohol aisle. Diego bought a jamba juice that tasted like strawberry jolly ranchers; he kept insisting on sharing it with me. You know, sharing drinks is kind of like an indirect kiss and I just felt a little awkward. But I'm just generally awkward. We talked about marijuana and different strains, and sexuality and how it's partly a mentality, and I told him how I hate being labeled or boxed in; he seemed pretty interested in what I had to say. He told me how he really likes this cannabis strain named CBD and how strong it hits you. We also talked about how ridiculous and annoying people are, and how people watching can be entertaining sometimes. After that we walked back on the same trail and he opened up to em about his past and different things and we joked and laughed about how our mom's are gossipers and we both call them 'chismosas.' I took him back to my place and introduced him to Shiloh Shadow. Shiloh warmed up to him pretty quick and let him pet him. He was even purring for him, what a sweet boy. I took Diego over down by the river next to the apartments. I told him about little Lucipurr and her tragic death. I showed him where I buried her. I told him about the bear traps that druggies leave. We went inside and he showed me some videos on Youtube about cats in boxes; it was pretty damn adorable. Later we walked to the park. Poor Diego, I gave him a work out. We sat on a bench and talked for a bit. Then we went to Alta Heights and saw this group of ladies working out and they were doing such silly work out moves, like the donkey kick and spidey jumps. Then they were laying on their backs and spreading their legs. Me and Diego couldn't help but laugh and try imitating them; but we started doing our own thing. Diego started twerking and I started doing some weird dance moves. We were just laughing and smiling and it felt great; it was like a relief. Then we got on the swings for a bit and Diego randomly told me how he asked his ex boyfriend "Is it in yet?" during sex. And I replied with (okay maybe this was a bit mean but whatever) "You sure he just didn't have a small dick?" Yeah maybe it was a stab at his boyfriend, but I'm not fond of any of them. I stupidly asked "So is that what it feels like? I mean, is it hard to tell when it's in?" I sounded like such a noob, but oh well that's what I am.. We played around on the park and tried going on this weird seesaw and then got on this thing that went in circles and I tried to push him and I ended up falling back when I let go. Diego found a kid's backpack and wanted to return it to the classroom. He didn't have to do that, but he did and that said a lot about his character. We walked back home cause I wanted to feed him and he needed to be back home around 6 pm. I told him he didn't have to walk so close to the edge of the sidewalk and he just looked up at me without saying anything. I told him how I feel comfortable around him and don't feel the need to be talking all the time because sometimes someone's presence is enough. Just being around someone I enjoy being around is enough for me. And how a lot of people are just obnoxious and loud and talk your ear off with mindless conversation. Also I have to mention that I was quite surprised; Diego didn't really talk much about dick and dudes this time (his formerly favorite topics). I also noticed a change in his aura and attitude and just his whole presence in general; it was a bit odd cause I'm not used to it, but it wasn't bad. It was actually quite nice. This annoying fat lady stopped us at 7-eleven and was being loud and obnoxious, what I had just mentioned and Diego and her talked for about five minutes as I just stood off to the side awkwardly. It was a bit rude, but it wasn't his fault. She approached him and just kept talking to him about what the fuck ever. I also noticed she was missing teeth. I told Diego that it was awkward and I felt like I should just keep walking.. All he replied with was "Awww.. No." I fed him when we got to my place; it was those noodles with shrimp from a day before. I wanted to be honest and told him they were leftovers; then I felt bad giving him that but there wasn't much else and I really wanted him to try that. I had saved it specially for him a day before, even when I really wanted to eat it. But I find myself making sacrifices for the people I really care about, even just something small like that. I just wish I could've given him something fresh and homemade. Oh well, next time (if there is one).. I don't mean to be pessimistic, but it really seems like it goes hand in hand with being realistic. He said he enjoyed it; he ate it with soy sauce and I gave him guava juice. I finished his jamba juice. Then I gave him a box of chocolates; home made chocolates. I wanted to buy and give him this beanie and sweater from Target but I didn't have the money. My mom wouldn't let me take the car as usual, so she drove him home. I made them listen to Slipknot on the way there. Diego said he liked that so I kept it on. Before got out of the car to leave, I told him to take care. But I really mean it when I say it; I just don't say it as a parting phrase like many people do. But I don't know how seriously he takes that. After that I went home and was being very critical of myself. Well he did say he had fun, especially at the park. So I guess I shouldn't worry so much. Oh and also I have to mention how I really enjoyed how he seemed to know so much and be aware of how fucked up the government is and how this world works and how processed food is filled with all these chemicals and all that. I was quite impressed; I'm really glad he's not a brainwashed society robot. He told me how he was part of the green party. Also he said he likes soy milk too and how his mom won't buy it for him and just buys cow milk. He honestly kept surprising me cause he kept saying stuff like "Oh I like that too and oh I was just listening to that song too" I told him it made me feel like we were in sync or something. It was weird.

My Goals

I want to start doing vlogs, but I need a good video camera like a Go Pro or something.

I want to start reading and researching more on stuff I'm passionate about, like biology etc. Read online; find legit websites with genuine information. Check out books at the library etc.

So I want to start documenting my life in some way; both through video and text. 

Work on cooking/baking skills. Emphasize on it as an art form as well and not just a basic survival skill. Make up my own recipes (video game/cartoon themed etc).

Fuck the corrupt system; I don't agree with it and therefore I refuse to help perpetuate it. Find ways around the system. Write them down, act on them.

"I wish you could be here all the time. But either way you're on my mind.." 

Ahh wait.. Ah ah ah wait.. Baby baby babe wait....